Wedding checklist

More info can be found on http://www.goldenhappiness.com.sg/.

过大礼 (Betrothal)
Dragon and phoenix candles
Things to buy for the bride:
2 Chicken
2 Bottles of brandy
Dragon & Phoenix candles
2 large fish (meaning sheng qi, re re nao nao)
2 coconut (you ye you zi)
4 Brandy/ Rice wine
Tea leaves
Sesame
Hai wei (Cantonese) may include fa cai, mushrooms, abalone, clams, prawns/shrimps, sea cucumber, fish maw, shark's fin
12- 18 oranges
12- 18 apples
Bao lo man yao pin jin dai
Dragon and phoenix box containing red dates, red and green beans, bai he, lian zi, sesame, longan,
2 pieces of red cloth to hang on the door, grooms to be longer than brides (for gd luck)
A full plate of 'fatt kou', some vegetables as leaf lettuce or endive ('sang choy', symbolizes vitality),
celery ('khan choy' symbolizes diligence), spring onion (symbolizes intelligence)
1 pair of trousers (if the bride has a single elder brother (symbolizes wealth).
Dragon phoenix bangles (Long Feng Zhou)
A specified number of wedding cakes

Returning to the groom
Usually half of the items brought by the groom will be returned
1 pair of lotus tuber ('leng ngau') with roots intacts and plenty of tubercles (but now a days it is almost impossible to get so lotus roots from supermarket will do) (Cantonese only)meaning (symbolize the prosperous offspring desired by the couple as well as longevity of both the couple and their family.)
Part of the cash will be returned to reflect the spirit of sharing between two families. (Both Hakka & Cantonese)


四点金 (Dowry Jewellery)
One of the most familiar practice for the bride’s parents to request for Si Dian Jin as part of the betrothal gifts from the groom’s parent to the bride. The purpose of this practice in the olden days is to ensure that the bride will be married to a wealthy family and guaranteed a wealthy, carefree and happy life.

Si Dian Jin is expected even without the request from the bride’s parents. It is a must even for modern day.

The bride is expected to wear these Si Dian Jin throughout the wedding even during banquet so that all the relatives have opportunities to appreciate the gift.

So which dialect buys what?
The Cantonese, it is a must to buy a pair of gold bangle called dragon and phoenix bangles 龙凤镯. 龙凤镯 is commonly given to the bride during tea ceremony by her in laws, parents and relatives, in appriciation of her taking good care of her in laws and husband, the more 龙凤镯 she receives it also represents the wealthier the family clan is. Also, have you ever notice Qwas are commonly 3/4 sleeves? This is to let the bride show off all the 龙凤镯 she has received, so by the end of the tea ceremony session she will often look like a Christmas tree!

嫁妆 (Dowry)

What is Dowry?
The bathtub, basin and potty are to encourage the couple to have children. The sewing kit represents a capable wife. The wedding lamps mean a bright future and the bowls means abundant food for the couple.

Why is Dowry important?
The gifts represent the blessing to the couple and show that the bride has grown up and is ready to take on the new role of a wife and mum.

When should Dowry be given?
On the same day as Betrothal ceremony or a few days before the wedding.

What are the common items given?
1 Double happiness bathtub
1 Double happiness potty
1 Double happiness basin
1 tray
1 Sewing box
1 sewing kit (needle, scissors, pin cushion and thread)
1 pair Double happiness rinisng mugs
Mirror, tooth brush, tooth paste, shampoo and bath towels
1 Double happiness tea set
1 pair Double happiness bowl and spoon set
2 pair Silk slippers
1set of Bedsheet
Jewellery


上头 (Hair Combing)

What are the differences between different dialects?
For this procedure, there is only difference between the groom and bride set..

For male:
Pointed comb
1 set of mirror
1 set of red string
1 ruler
1 pair Dragon and phoenix candles
Lian zi, red dates, tang yuan in either 6 or 9pcs
Fruits and meat

For female:
Round comb
1 set of mirror
1 set of red string
1 set of sewing kit
1 ruler
1 pair Dragon and phoenix candles
Lian zi, red dates, tang yuan in either 6 or 9pcs
Fruits and meat

Why is Hair combing important?
This has been a long tradition that is believed to bring long and lasting marriage, where the red string signifies blessing which is used to tie the bride’s hair and the ruler is used to remind couples to cherish their relationship and take good care of the family. It is important the both party participates in this ceremony, if either party is not doing the hair combing ceremony the other party can skip it too.

Where is Hair combing done?
As this procedure is done 1 day before the wedding day (bride and groom are not allow to see each other 1 day before the wedding day), it is a must that the bride and groom does it separately at their parent’s home in the bedroom.

When should Hair combing be done?
Hair combing can be done after 11pm on the eve of the wedding. The bride must take part in this ceremony at least 1 hour after the groom had completed his.

How should Hair combing be done? Step by step guide:

1) Set up the items comb, candles, fruits and meat to pray to the ancestors. Lian zi, red dates, tang yuan must be either 6pcs or 9pcs each to be placed on the table.

2) bride and groom have to shower with water infused with either pomelo or pomegranate leaves (Showering in these leaves is to cleanse the body from bad luck)

3) Thereafter, bride and groom should change into a new set of clothing, shoes, using new sets of towels, tooth brush, tooth paste, shampoo (for a new beginning)

4)Light the candles. Hair combing is normally done by the Hao Min Po ‘fortune lady’, if either 1 parent or both parents are no longer around, this procedure should be done by Hao Ming Po, who MUST be blissfully married with surviving husband and WITH children and grandchildren. This is to ensure the bride and groom will be blessed with the same fortune.

5) The red thread means yue lao qian hong xian, is to be tie on the hair completing the ceremony.

Cantonese/Hakka
(During ceremony) The groom has to face the wall with his back against the door while the bride does the opposite that is facing the door with her back against the wall.

TeoChew/Hokkien:
The bedroom's door must be locked and admittance is prohibited. The groom is to perform this in his room facing inside, while the bride facing the ancestors.

The magical words will have to be recite out loud:

1st comb symbolises:
一梳梳到尾
Couple will always be together forever, from the beginning till the end of the road.

2nd comb symbolises:
二梳梳到白髮齊眉
Happiness and harmony in the relationship together from now till old age.

3rd comb symbolises:
三梳梳到兒孫滿地
Couple will bear many sons, daughters, grand daughters and grandsons.

4th comb symbolises:
四梳梳到四條銀筍盡標齊
Guaranteed happiness and fortune for the couple.

After hair combing, sweet pink glutinous ball soup (must be pink) must be served after the hair combing ceremony to wish the couple a complete, sweet and happiness marriage. The serving of sweet pink glutinous ball soup is also carried out on the wedding day itself (for teochew) after the groom has successfully completed all the tasks given by the Jie meis.

*If either of the couple has been married before the combing event can be skipped

If you are looking for a feng shui master to pick a hair combing date for you, I do have someone to recommend, very sweet lady, remember to tell her Eyvon from Golden Happiness recommended you otherwise she won't usually pick up unknown numbers to her. She doesn't charge for her service so an ang pow will be appriciated, she is in no way related to me and was recommended to me by a friend, she has been to her quite a number of times so far so good! Appointment is a must!

壓床 (Bed Setting)

What is Bed Setting?
This is a process whereby changing the couple’s bed with new bed sheets and have auspicious items spread out on the bed along with 2 red packets and a pair of double happiness bedside lamps. Double happiness stickers or cuttings will be used to decorate the bridal house, the main door as well as mirrors and cupboards of the bridal room. No one is allowed into the room until the wedding ceremony is over.

Why is Bed Setting important?
It symbolizes a blissful marriage, abundance of fortune and offspring for the couple as well as good health.

When should Bed Setting be done?
On eve of the wedding at 830pm or according to the timing of the feng shui master

Items required on the bed:

2 red packets
1 tray
2 oranges
Mini money bucket (to be filled with $1 gold coins)
Sweets or rock sugar
6 different kinds of seeds : green and red beans, lotus seeds, peanuts, logans and red dates
Pomegranate leaves
Huat Kuay (either pink or orange colour)
Dai Lu Ji
Ruler
Yuan Zi

Items required on four corners of the bed and to be placed infront of the bed:
Yuan Zi
mini red packet
Zi sun buckets

Items required on the side table:
Double happiness lamp

How is Bed Setting done? Step by step guide:

1)Change your bedsheet

2)The groom’s parents or the bride’s parents (whichever you prefer) will move the bed slightly and place a red packet with gold coins in it and Da yuan at each corner of the bed symbolizing unlimited blessings of wealth and prosperity. Usually if one parent is no longer around, you will need to get a Hao Ming Po to help you do bed setting. Da yuan means the husband and Xiao yuan means the wife therefore this step of placing the yuan zi is to ensure that the couple will be fated to be together for the rest of their lives.

OR another belief is that the groom’s parents or the bride’s parents (whichever you prefer) will move the bed slightly and place a red packet with gold coins in it and both Da yuan and Xiao yuan at each corner of the bed symbolizing unlimited blessings of wealth and prosperity. Usually if one parent is no longer around, you will need to get a Hao Ming Po to help you do bed setting. Da yuan means having fate (yuan) with the in-laws and parents and Xiao yuan means the fate between couple

3)Dried longans, lotus seeds, red dates, peanuts, red & green beans, pomegranate leaves, huat kuay, ruler, 2 red packet (each containing $12), 2 oranges, sweets or rock sugar, and finally 1 packet of Da yuan and 1 packet of Xiao yuan to be placed in a tray and to be placed on the bed.

4) A young boy whose horoscope does not clash with the groom and bride will be invited to jump on the bed and invited to eat the sweets which is believed that by doing this the couple will have healthy happy kids soon after marriage. (Anyone who is born on the year of the tiger is STRONGLY DISCOURAGE to enter the room, even on actual wedding day.)

5) Rest of the Da yuan and Xiao Yuan will be scattered into the drawers and cupboards. The groom's new shirts must be put into the cupboard first (usually 12pcs), followed by the bride’s (Usually 12pcs). Red papers or stickers bearing the word 'double happiness' will be pasted onto cupboards, mirrors and doors

6) After the bed-installation, the double happiness lamp must be lit throughout the entire night. More commonly, let the battery in the lamp run Do NOT replace the batteries or for those of you who bought the electric operated lamps let the lamp run till it fuse. Officially the bedsetting ceremony is 3 days beginning from the day An Chuang items are placed on the bed. After the 3rd day, running lamps can be switched off.

Some knowledge we thought you should know:
1) Ensure brides DO NOT sleep on the bed once bed setting ceremony has been completed and before the wedding this will lead to poor health for the bride.

2) On wedding day another boy will be invited to roll on the bed and invited to eat the sweets symbolising tian tian mi mi, zao sheng gui zi and zi sun man tang

3) Avoid bedsheets with black, grey, blue, colours that are commonly seen at a funeral and also avoid flower designs like chrysanthemums.

4) Either leave the bed empty after bed installation, bed wedding day or have a young boy whose horoscope does not clash with the groom's as the is a popular saying 'leaving one side of the bed empty, you are bound to curse your other half to death'

5) Traditionally, bed setting is often done by Hao Ming Po (who is blissfully married with surviving husband and all surviving childen) but today it is more commonly done by the groom.

6) If bed setting is done by Hao Min Po please remember to give her an ang pow

7) If you are looking for a feng shui master to set a bed setting date for you, I do have someone to recommend, very sweet lady, remember to tell her Eyvon from Golden Happiness recommended you otherwise she won't usually pick up unknown numbers to her. She doesn't charge for her service so an ang pow will be appriciated, she is in no way related to me and was recommended to me by a friend, she has been to her quite a number of times so far so good! Appointment is a must!